DAVID MILLS
The Silent Life Coach
My approach to coaching
An intuitive and collaborative
approach
No two clients or sessions are the same. Each session unfolds moment by moment and is tailored to your individual needs. At the start of each session, you share with me "where you are at" on your journey and draw attention to any issues that you know need to be addressed. As I listen, I am able to tune in to what is going on deep inside of you and to gently guide you toward the resolution of your issues with appropriate questions and healing techniques.
I view the coaching process as a collaborative, co-creative and interdependent dynamic between coach and client. Indeed, one of the primary techniques that I employ during my coaching sessions is interactive guided visualisation. We use the power of your imagination to connect and interact with confused energy inside of you to bring about transformational shifts and breakthroughs. I have a wide range of other effective techniques and approaches to call upon during sessions. These include Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique), NLP and hypnotherapy.
A big aspect of my coaching work is connecting you more fully to your own intuition (or inner teacher) and equipping you with simple tools you can use in your everyday life. My goal is to make myself unnecessary - as quickly as possible!
An adventure into the unknown
Sometimes, people come to me not knowing what they need to heal. You may be struggling with feelings and emotions you don't understand or can't seem to shift. By enlisting the help of your inner teacher, I will guide you to the part of you that is confused.
Sessions rarely unfold in the way my clients expect. That is because we are operating beyond the confines of the thinking mind and accessing unconscious processes. Often, what we "think" is lying at the root of an issue turns out to be something else entirely. For example, I had a female client who came to me wanting to resolve a deep-seated need "to make everything alright", which was pushing her husband away and creating friction with her teenage son. She came to the session expecting to explore the energy behind the relationship with her father, who had abandoned her and her mother when she was very young. However, it turned out that her inner pain and confusion revolved more around the relationship with her mother (after her father had left the family home). This was a revelation to the client. What was unconscious had suddenly become conscious, bringing with it a greater awareness and understanding of herself. From here, we were able to resolve the confused energy behind her need "to make everything alright" relatively quickly.
Why choose me?
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I understand what you are going through because I have been in your shoes.
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I guide you, safely and gently, through your biggest blocks and challenges.
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I deepen your healing journey, leading you beyond the surface level of your issues to resolve the underlying energy for good.
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I hold an unconditionally accepting space of compassion in which even your darkest inner demons feel safe to be seen.
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I simplify the healing process with practical, down-to-earth tools and techniques.
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I empower you to access your inner guidance and answer your own questions.
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I accelerate and amplify the effects of your healing through the power of my conscious presence.
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I teach you, through my example, how to shift from mind-identified doing to heart-centred being.
Relevant training
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Certified Coach Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (INLPTA accredited)
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Energy Healing (Foundation Course) (CMA accredited)
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Ericksonian Hypno-Psychotherapy in Practice (UKCP accredited)
You are not broken
I am not here to “fix” you. You are not broken. My coaching starts from the premise that you are already perfect, whole and complete. I believe that each of us is walking a unique path leading to conscious realisation and embodiment of this truth. I have no agenda other than to unconditionally accept you as you are and where you are on this journey.
Imagine your true self to be a pristine, clear glass window. My job is to support you in clearing away any interference (i.e. dirt, grime, smudge marks, fingerprint marks) obscuring and distorting your view of yourself and the world beyond. Any issue or challenge that you bring to a session – or that surfaces during a session – is the result of a confused part of your consciousness.
Acceptance opens the door to change
My job is to assist you in bringing these confused parts of yourself back into alignment with who you really are at the core of your being. I call this process "reintegration by parts". We achieve this by bathing the underlying energy in the light of your conscious awareness, as well as clearing away any limiting beliefs that have been holding this energy in place.
"Accepting" something that is no longer serving you may sound counter-intuitive at first. That's why I get my clients to visualise and interact with these confused parts of themselves as if they were discrete beings living inside of them. That way, we are better able to view them with compassion. Imagine a tiny child approaching you, crying her eyes out – clearly distressed about something that has just happened. Before we can proceed, we must first understand where the child is coming from. She needs our acknowledgement, validation and approval before she can open up to a new way of seeing things.
Ultimately, these confused parts of us need to be seen and heard, not ignored and denied. They need to be welcomed and recognised, not rejected and suppressed. They seek our love and approval, not our disdain and judgement. In order to set them free from their confusion, we must envelop them in our conscious acceptance.
There is a positive intention behind every experience
I operate from the premise that there is a positive intention – or higher purpose – behind all human behaviour and experience. A “problem” is nothing more than a label assigned to a neutral situation. Choosing to label a situation or experience as a problem is an act of personal dis-empowerment. I will assist you in "re-framing" apparent problems as opportunities. Opportunities to learn, to experience, to grow, to evolve and to express gratitude.
An integral part of any coaching session with me is identifying and honouring the positive intentions behind the confused parts that show up. As soon as these have been fully acknowledged, the underlying energy begins to resolve itself.
It is the energy behind the story that matters
People get so easily caught up in the stories that have brought emotional pain and internal confusion to their attention. Analysing the details of the story – what happened, who did what, who said what – is surface level work and keeps us locked in the dramas of the mind. This is the remit of many conventional talk therapies. I operate at a much deeper level than this. I am here to hold your hand as we dive into the murky waters of your unconscious awareness – something that may seem too frightening or overwhelming for you to face alone.
Deep unconscious confusion – suppressed emotional pain, trauma, wounds and scars – can be difficult to pinpoint and clean up without external support. I guide you directly (but gently) to the core of your issues – these are typically the places towards which you carry the most fear and resistance – and hold a safe space of transformation in which you can make peace with the underlying emotional pain for good.
Stories include memories, of course. Painful memories inevitably do resurface during my sessions. Whilst I treat my clients with the utmost compassion during these moments, we do not waste any time analysing the memories themselves. Our focus is on resolving the confused energy behind these memories and returning you to your natural state of clarity and well being.
You have the power to heal yourself
I do not heal my clients; I hold a space in which they heal themselves. I operate from the premise that you already possess all the resources you need to heal and resolve your issues. Through the clarity of my own example, I empower you to access your own inner teacher: your innate source of wisdom, healing, guidance and creativity.
My ability to hold space for others is my greatest gift. It is in the silence of my conscious presence that transformation takes place. That's why I call myself the Silent Life Coach. The “magic” takes place in the silence between my questions and prompts. My silence carries an implicit expectation of transformation, as well as unshakeable faith in your capacity to heal and to receive answers – often to questions you did not even know you were asking! I also share with my clients specific techniques and suggestions for cultivating their own inner silence and conscious presence.
Who will benefit from my coaching?
I am open to working with anyone who is ready for deep inner transformation. I can only support individuals who are fully committed to their self-healing process and personal evolution. This is why many (but not all) of my clients come to me following courses of conventional therapy or counselling. This prior professional assistance lays the groundwork upon which relatively rapid transformations can take place in my presence.
I lead you directly into the heart of your pain so that it can be experienced in the fullness of its intensity. It takes courage to face our deepest fears and traumas. That said, my clients are invariably surprised to discover how quickly the energy transforms and the situation begins to resolve itself once the pain has been acknowledged; the process is never as terrifying as the ego would have us believe.
Check out the Is This You? page to further determine if we are a suitable match.